Anonymous, USA

Hair Then and Hair Now.....

1974

As a seventh grader in the late 60's my hair was beyond shoulder length, straight and naturally white-blond. I guess my parents were considered "progressive", because none of my friends were permitted to have hair that long and the stigma associated with it (Vietnam-era) was pretty strong. It also gave me a powerful sexual signal - adolescent male, long locks, coming of sexual maturity, etc. It didn't matter whether I was surfing, riding a bicycle or walking along with the wind blowing across my face and through my hair - the signal was the same - I'm counterculture, I'm attractive, I'm sexually capable, I'm fucking with androgyny (which in those days wasn't as diluted as it is now) and... I'm in your face. I never knew just what sort of signal I sent until I found it easy to attract girls (in actuality, the confidence it gave me and that which I projected probably played a greater role than the hair itself) and one time in a men's restroom in Hawaii near the Pearl Harbor Monument. Standing there, penis in hand (and pissing), this WWII veteran stepped up next to me at the urinal, looked at me and said "you long yellow haired puke, well I thought you were a girl!". Needless to say, it was a profound event for a 14 year old - - the male to male confrontational sexuality issue notwithstanding. I wore my hair like that through high school, and then cut it short right after graduation before a trip to Europe and college. I can still remember the day I got it cut...... watching the locks fall to the floor, feeling the cold air on the back of my neck. Hard to admit, but I felt less tall, less strong and noticed that those mannerisms and postures I had adopted because of my hair (flinging it back over my shoulders, running my fingers through it, even the way I walked, etc.) were lost. Feeling a little more self conscious than ever before, I experienced having to redevelop a kind of "attitude" that was enshrouded by my hair. Through this I also re-learned how to project an appearance, but maintain an inner persona that could be completely dissimilar.

I still have my high school graduation photo - I even used it in a lecture I gave about two years ago, just to surprise the audience that the clean cut physician they know now looked and acted "that" way in the past. So I guess I'm still using my hair - both in its past long length and present shorter version to the original psychological intent from years ago. I guess some things, unlike photos of one's hair, never change.

1996