Yvie Raij, from a place most people call america

hair is loaded...[-or- is it ladened ?] w/ baggage...eye M what most people are taught <2> catergorize as "black"...where eye come from eye have what is called "good hair"...<2> them not <2> curly -or- knappy...but <2> mi~ M hair is just the same as any other "black folk"...N the beginning M mother <2> mi~ every month <2> the salon <2> get what was called back then a perm [short <4> permanent straight hair...but was actually only temporary] ...nowadaze it is refered <2> as a "relaxer"...eye hated getting this done...the lyes burned M scalp... ways took <2> long & eye wanted <2> play...once when eye was old enough <2> go on M own...the woman asked mi~ if eye wanted curls -or- braids... eye ways had that black shirley temple look...eye wanted something different & this was the seventies when "black is beautiful"...eye asked the woman <2> braid M hair like an african...M mother was angry...eye thought she would think it was beautiful...& she sent mi~ back <2> get it curled...

eye attended white catholic schools through sophmore year N high school...hating how M hair made mi~ feel N contrast <2> jokes of others...once eye got a "jerry curl"...sure made M hair soft & fall <2> M shoulders w/out having <2> be pulled down...but it was so greasy...everyone made fun of mi~...black & white...the white kids teased mi~ said eye looked like michael jackson...junior year eye transferred<2> a public school & eye became punk rock...discovered extensions...which became a big thing N the eighties...so M "hair" was midway down M back N a mohawk style colored like tina turner's weave...then eye played <4> the next 4 -or- 5 years w/ dyes & extensions...

@ age 23 eye shaved M head...it was november right...thanksgiving...some boy & eye...had a "bad" sexual affair & eye felt dirty...afterwards however...well...eye found M head was shaped funny...so eye wore wigs <4> real long time...which was disconcerting...because before relaxers...there was wigs...so eye felt trapped N some world M grandmother may have been N...when eye had just enough hair eye got extensions again...N 1994 eye had a nervous breakdown...-or- as eye would say eye "woke up from the big sleep"...eye ripped out this artificial hair...& eye began growing M dreads...a rasta friend told mi~ dreads are a sign of U're strength...U're roots grow <2> the Spirit...when they are long enough <2> touch the Earth U complete a cycle...eye will never cut - or- alter M hair again...M family N rural louisianna...aunt dolly asks mi~ why eye matted M good hair up...dad wants <2> know if eye'M N a cult...M daughter has dreads from birth...her father's family [they are mexican w/ alot of spanish blood & very well <2> do] ...they think eye M raising M daughter <2> be a loner -or- anti-social...because her hair is not conventional...the ghetto folks N M building think eye dread M hair because eye M lazy...only whites w/ dreads & tie dyes smile @ M hair...eye suppress a snarl...M friend from england [white w/ a shaved head w/ dreads on top] ...he says N england & scotland the old tribes use <2> mat & snarl their hair <2> y'know...eye say okay...eye didn't know... eye ask why don't U call them mats & snarls? why do U call them dreads? so what does this have <2> do w/ cutting -or- losing hair? black folks hair is cut & lost from birth...due <2> the nature of social programming which states especially <4> a black woman...U are not beautiful w/out long straight hair... eye M growing out of...shedding this atrocity...& eye M grateful <4> M awakenings...over time eye M making M hair M own...